Act ?? - True Men

When did we as men become ruled by our emotions? When did we begin to act in secrecy and as double-agents to others like us?

We should be able to talk as men do: aloud and to the point. There are men out there that think according only to themselves, and act as such, too. They are different than us. They are not us, nor who we should aspire to. Other men know that they always can be the former, but each day also think of others and act with the restraint - or the passion - that comes from doing so.

So some people say "Nice guys finish last." Yet, I've said it before and I'll say it again: we are the only ones even in the race; and I won't stop until I die.



Will be working on this thought for it a bit..

Act 22 - NOT Act 23

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7OzabifGLT4
Son Dam Bi - "(Are You) Crazy"

She's so hot, hah. There's nothing wrong with pointing that out!
Plaid clothes. Amazing eyes. Non-white skin. Out-of-the-ordinary jewelry. Simple, fluid movements. Uh.. Asian. ha

I have to get out of Modesto to find the person I'm looking for. Gah.

"Love is not an endpoint. It is a journey. It is the path leading toward it, and the path on which it takes you afterward. To live with love is to truly live."

Act 21 - Record, Stop

Because I can't say something serious without a joke attached. Or vice-versa (there is a difference).
When I speak of a girl who "knows me", I don't mean necessarily her as I could not mean anything other than her. Savvy?

I have to meet someone new.

I thought about telling *her* all my thoughts. But then it occurred to me, maybe she has to experience it first. Who am I to say everything and teach it all second-hand? At the same time.. I'm not sure where this is going. All I know is, when I FINALLY thought about the paradox, I figured it out. Not the one above, but something else my mind drifted to. And it was peaceful.

Something holds me back. I shouldn't feel ridiculous for these thoughts and things I type. I shouldn't feel guilt for the various things I do. I.. am very happy, though, ha. Just not in the way you want.

(Atmosphere. look at the lyrics to "If I Was Santa Clause". well-written, for sure, heh)

Act 20 - For Sure

These Acts.. while it's a good idea to go day-by-day, I'm not sure how much meaning each day should hold. Some would say "You're just lazy" or "Then make each day meaningful in its own way" but some things.. things that are truly important just should not be said; sometimes when they are, it feels as though you've lost something by speaking it aloud.

I choose to speak those things which may seem deep and well-thought out, but a lot of the time its just a babbling brook of a mind - spilling out words like a fountain filled with pennies, trading thoughts for your time.

But other things, things that enhance me personally, I often forget or choose to leave out. Because maybe someone wouldn't understand.. And be that the case, I would rather keep them quiet.

Not that any of these days I've missed contain especially significant days, but they did each contain a single line of thought which made me a "stronger" I (stronger not being the best word since it implies some kind of measurement, but this "strength" cannot, should not be measured).
I am nowhere near the me of my mind, but I am getting there.

(none)

Act 19 - Soren Kierkegaard

"...that is when he makes the greatest movement of all! For he says, 'It is on the strength of the absurd, and God himself, that I shall. . .'"

Been awake since 8. Yet feeling remarkably.. refreshed, ha. Though the bleeding in my mouth isn't so good, it finally prompted a dental appointment this Thursday at 11AM. I'm.. excited, though I know quite embarrassed once I get there. Ah, well.

Today will be marked with hanging out with Taylor and seeing our friend with his fractured arm. Also, working for my dad sometime this evening. I suppose that's all.. Ah! And my 11:11 wish has been saved to this post.. I'll let whoever needs it use the wish, ha.

(no picture yet.. ill upload one later)

Act 18 - By the way..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5wRkoGKQ8qQ
Taylor Swift - "Love Story"
Yeah.. I thought you'd enjoy it, ha. It's a cute song - I guess I like the rise in the end to match her mood after it quiets to show her contemplation/doubt. Eh.. but that's thinking too much about it like I'm trying to do less - it's just a well-done song, I think.

Anyway.. /ahem


I know a girl who fits the description of my ideas.
She doesn't know, nor will she except when she really thinks about it.
She'll think it's her..
...Shake her head and tell herself "No",
But won't completely let go of the idea.
And though nothing may ever come of this -
If she simply exists, in times of strength and times of her weakness,
Showing she is as human as she is dream,
Then I will know my own ability to push onward.
Because though she never will outwardly hint otherwise -
I do the same.
hah
And she knows it.



(stolen! "emo love" from photobucket.. i used to dress like that.. and i wont lie that part of me still wants to. op.. ha)
[there! all caught up on number of Acts for this blog.. sleep! ..and hopefully last on this for a bit, ha. i need to recharge my hopes]

Act 17 - Catch-up Artist

Dear infinite "you". . .

I am to be a History major. What career I undertake is not known, but I have barely seen the world and don't feel 100% right in making that decision yet. I am unsure as to whether I want to focus on Spain or Japan, but I lean much farther in the direction of the latter. That is my plan.. I'll see it through. /nod

As for my tattoo: it will be of the picture I post in this blog! "The Great Wave off Kanagawa" by Katsushika Hokusai is a well-known picture and has commanded my attention since I first saw it in my History of Art: Japanese Art and Architecture class a year ago. I know it's mainstream, but.. it's one of the most amazing pieces of art I've ever seen. I don't want to change any of it when it goes on me, since, though it's been done before, I just don't feel like taking any part of it out is right, heh.

As for myself in general: /bow For tonight, I am I. My boys are stronger. My workouts are helping me achieve my "prime at 23" ideal. And.. I will no longer settle or lose myself to any girl less than "wow"-ing; that is, I will not settle for less anymore. Blog on that later.. a real one - ignore those posts several Acts back.. that was ridiculous, hah.


Today: hung out with Taylor; got my internet/phone turned back on; hung out with Ariel (my first ex that I haven't talked to in 4 1/2 years); went to Ariel's birthday party with Taylor and had a great time. I loved today, very much.

(see "tattoo" paragraph".. amazing work)


AND.. shout-out to Andrew Wu who's email I need to respond to now that I have internet again (I didn't forget!!). As well as send out everyone's money/write to Gloria about such things.. ._.; Whoops..