Because I can't say something serious without a joke attached. Or vice-versa (there is a difference).
When I speak of a girl who "knows me", I don't mean necessarily her as I could not mean anything other than her. Savvy?
I have to meet someone new.
I thought about telling *her* all my thoughts. But then it occurred to me, maybe she has to experience it first. Who am I to say everything and teach it all second-hand? At the same time.. I'm not sure where this is going. All I know is, when I FINALLY thought about the paradox, I figured it out. Not the one above, but something else my mind drifted to. And it was peaceful.
Something holds me back. I shouldn't feel ridiculous for these thoughts and things I type. I shouldn't feel guilt for the various things I do. I.. am very happy, though, ha. Just not in the way you want.
(Atmosphere. look at the lyrics to "If I Was Santa Clause". well-written, for sure, heh)
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